the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
