Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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