wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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