Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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