My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
