5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
