i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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