I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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