This girl is more easily done than said...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
