If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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