just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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