you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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