The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize