I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize