It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
