and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
