this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
