Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize