I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
