i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
