You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize