with your own penis?
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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