oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
