Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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