there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize