Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
