So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize