My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
