He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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