Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
