you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
