Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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