The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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