Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
