Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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