I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
