He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
