you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
kristin has been a bad kristin
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
