xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
