I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
