he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
