You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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