So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
