oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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