Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
