No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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