Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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