the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
