Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
