You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
