I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
