Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
