i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
