Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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