So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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