Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
