i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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