their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
