yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
