If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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