Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize