Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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