So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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