Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
