You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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